How Much is Too Much When it Comes to Kids' Activities?

Editor's Note: This is part of a series of parenting topics that we'll present each Wednesday. Johns Creek Patch's Mom's Council, led by Melanie Fleury and including area moms and Patch writers Janet Shan and Sheryl Schapiro, will weigh in. We invite your, our readers, to join the discussion by adding your own comments. Is there a future topic that you would like to see addressed? Let us know!

Melanie: Johns Creek has plenty to be proud of. Chattahoochee and Northview high schools both made the state playoffs in basketball. Four players on the Mount Pisgah Christian School basketball team made the all-region squad. Taylor Road Middle School students sent the advanced orchestra to Savannah to play at the Georgia Music Educators conference. The schools in Johns Creek are well rated and students consistently score high on testing.

With so many opportunities available in and around Johns Creek, children can become involved in it all. Sports, orchestra and studying are just some aspects of their lives, and some spend their time in school, and others are involved in the myriad of activities that parents have planned.

In many ways, I understand the plight of the mom looking for things that interest her children. With four kids of my own, it is easy to want to sign them up for everything they want. Gymnastics, swimming and dance are just some of the activities available to our children, not to mention sports. If you don't sign them up to try new things, how will you ever know if your child is gifted at that sport or activity?

On the other hand, how much is too much? Do you put your 4-year-old in extra afternoon classes to help her read faster and better? Does she play sports three times a week to build stamina and speed?

As with anything, moderation is what I believe is key. Set how many activities that you can financially and logistically complete. This is how many your child will have for the year. So, if your child likes gymnastics and swim, make those her core activities. If she wants to try something new, she has to give up the old one. In this way, you avoid children who are burnt out from being dragged from one place to the next and you also allow her to make the decision on what she wants to do. It also helps you to keep your pocketbook from being so empty.

Do kids need these activities to be well-rounded, productive adults? Do these classes help them in any way for the future? Is too much emphasis placed on the activities and not enough placed on schools? What type of parent are you? Do you spend every afternoon as your children's personal chaffeur? What are you hoping comes out of all your time in the car shuttling your children to their respective sports? Scholarships in the future or just having your children be appreciative? How do you feel about all the extra bells and whistles that are available for your children?

Where does your child take extracurricular activities? Are you in it for the long haul or until they choose another activitiy? What matters most to you, that they have fun or that they are working on a skill to use in the future. Weigh in with your own opinion today!

Sheryl: My children are either grown or in college but I still have strong feelings about this. I agree that moderation is, and should be, the key word here.  I don't think it's fair to be dragging your kids to an abundance of different activities for a few reasons — overload and not teaching your children priorities; they grow up expecting you to chauffeur them around; they know whatever it is they want to do you'll sign them up with no thought of any kind of expense involved; and learning that they don't have to stick with something for any length of time.

I think one or two activities, at the most, at a time is fine.  Trying new and different things is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but once they find something they feel good about, let them stick with it for a while.

I also feel that "keeping up with the Jones" is another aspect a child doesn't have to learn.  They need to learn that it's what is important to them (your child) — not trying to do and be what their friends all group together to do...and be.  Teaching individuality will also breed self-confidence which breeds champions.  Remember it's not what you, the parent, might want...but what is best for your child.