Today, over 30 years after starting mine and as the Executive Director of an adoption agency I have been witness to the multitude of ways one can consider others as family. And if you think your family is limited or small think again!
The word family and the feeling of family are definitely different. The feeling of family doesn't denote blood ties but the stronger ties of love, concern, patience in failings, and the ability to reach out for and to each other during the hardest times in life. Contemplate the people you know in your life and I imagine you will suddenly see family.
I have given birth to six children but only 5 survived. These, of course, are my family, but I'm re-married and he has a son. Now my family has grown, not by 2 but by 4. Not only do I consider them my family but I also consider my step-son's mother and grandmother family as I've grown to care for them in our mutual activities with him.
My children, growing up, invited all of their friends to our home as often as possible. These kids became, in essence, my "other kids" as I carted them with me places and attended activities where they were involved. Today my children are between sixteen and thirty-one and, as I type this, I am playing Words With Friends with one of those kids. She is now grown and has children of her own who call me Grandma Dee. There are about ten or so of these, now grown, "other kids". I still hear from them on my birthday and on holidays. When they need advice about love, marriage, or childcare they call or text. I consider these kids my family.
My children have a father who is remarried. Those children are my kid's family. That makes them my family also. It's not the traditional way of seeing the ex's kids but, over the years, it has eased the discomfort of divorce and remarriage for my children who are the most important people in my world. They have been allowed to invite their brothers and sisters over to spend the night and we've bought them birthday cards together. A year ago one of them "friended" me on Facebook. They're my family too.
My children and grand-children's pictures line my walls. Beside them are pictures of the families I have helped to create through adoption. Those families reach out to me with updated pictures and Christmas cards and I think about them more often than they probably realize.
My oldest brother, who was given up for adoption when my mother was fourteen, will be visiting us in September. This is the first visit we've ever had in person. In November, we will go to visit my husband's cousin, whom I adore. Then we'll go to visit my mother and my "adopted" mom (My mother's best friend and Grandma Polly to my children) who is now in the hospital.
My ex-daughter-in-law texts me once a month or so (so does her step-sister whom I'm close to) and their six children call me Grandma Dee also, though only one is my blood relation. My husband's best friend since kindergarten is referred to as "Uncle Brian" by my children and my newly married sister's children call me Aunt Dee. I have more examples but the point is, these are all my family.
The world is full of adoptions. Adoption is nothing more than accepting the responsibility of loving and caring for another human being. In that sense, the human race is your family. Isn't time to start treating them like that?
We are so much better together.